Between Love and Obsession
by EmilyDoreen
Summary: They wanted it to be perfect, however that was never going to be the case. Etcetera and Macavity's love was forbidden. Wrong to it's last detail. There were too many secrets, too many stories locked away. Secrets that exposed could be the cause of the darkest days of an innocent queen's life, because Macavity's view on love and obsession were only split between the thinnest line.
1. To Save a Life

**Hello everyone! This is my brand new story! Now... It won't actually be that long, but I promise you there is some great drama to come with this!**

**It is rated T for themes and the very rare use of language. I never write anything too graphic so don't worry.**

**Hope you enjoy- Please read and review!**

* * *

**Chapter One: To Save a Life**

* * *

_Etcetera met Macavity on a Tuesday._

"Etcetera, go!"

"No, father! I can't leave you!" Proclaimed the teen desperately.

Skimble knew he had to get Etcetera to think straight; he quickly dashed over to her and gripped her head firmly in his paws making her look him in the eye. Without stopping to think properly the railway cat spoke firmly and directly to the teenager,

"It isn't safe! Take your sister- go. Don't come back till evening."

"But fath-"A flurry of heavy fur ambushed past Etcetera, with a scent that made her stomach curl. She stumbled back and let out a hefty breath in shock. Noises of yells and grunts bellowed in her ears. She was distressed. She wanted to cry.

Scrambling back her hind legs, she caught eyes with a flash of orange fur throwing itself full pelt at an Alsatian dog. "Father!"

Etcetera made a run for him. She was dragged back forcefully. "Etcy, come on!" It was Electra, her twin sister.

Looking back in angst, Etcetera took a firm hold of her sister's paw and together they began to flee the Junkyard. The red teen let out a shout as they ran, "For Bast's sake, pollicles! I mean just why?!"

They could hear the chaos so clearly. Etcetera began to trip and stumble as her legs shook. It made Electra falter a little too- The red queen let out a hiss and cornered her sister to a wall.

Etcetera held her breath, trying to calm her erratic breathing and tears she hadn't noticed she had cried.

"Etcy stop it, they're going to be fine; they always are." Electra hissed as they took a quick turn round onto an open field.

"We shouldn't have just left them!" The yellow tabby cried.

Electra didn't respond, just kept running with her sister in tow. Through grass fields stained with the damp parchment of English weather until they reached an alley, coaxed away from the grassland and mud.

The sisters both practically collapsed with exhaustion, gasping for air as their backs pressed against the bricks sodden brick.

"I think… I think we'll be okay, for now." Electra murmured breathlessly after a while. "I think we've gone far enough away."

The red cats sister's shoulders shook in shock, "A couple tried following us, Electra." She gasped knowingly, feeling a fear in the back of her head that they weren't at all safe at that moment.

"Well we obviously got away, didn't we?" Smirked Electra. Her face dropped at the horror in her sister's expression, "Etcy calm down… This has happened before."

"Well there weren't as many last time." Griped the yellow teenager.

This was true. It probably happened once every couple of years. The Pollicles, for no literal reason would attack the Jellicle Junkyard, but leave when bored. Their tribe had never suffered any hugs injuries or fatalities down to it as of yet. But that didn't mean the call of "Pollicles!" Didn't instill fear into all of them still.

Electra sighed, "Stop it." And made a step to leave the alleyway, only to be forcefully grabbed by her sister and thrown back. "Etce-" The yellow queen slammed a paw onto her sister's mouth with an urgent look in her eyes.

It was only then she heard the sound of hushed grunts.

The grunts of a Pollicle, who was looking for them.

Both kittens didn't move an inch, they could hear it. The slobbering beast pacing lazily towards the alleyway, sniffing them out. Closer and closer.

...So they had been followed all this way out.

As always, it was Electra who took charge. She moved her head very slightly, feeling her blood turn cold, and mouthed _'Move'_.

Together, they sisters began to step, limbs shaking. They both were too scared to make a sound, too scared to even breathe. Right now their parents weren't with them, not their friends or their acquaintances and not their protector. They were completely alone, and had never felt so isolated.

They found a box laid in the dingy back corner of the alley, facing at an angle towards the brick. They crept into it. It was such a small space; their bodies were forced together at an unbearable closeness. They shook together, foreheads beading with sweat.

The Pollicle stalked for any sign of a feline for it to chase and ultimately destroy. Padding along right up the length of the dank alleyway. It stopped, and the sounds of deep sniffing reached the two kitten's ears. It could smell them.

Etecetera's eyes screwed when she suddenly heard the silence. Tears began to stream down her face again as she waited for any sign of being uncovered and used all her strength to stop herself from crying out loud.

The stupid dog dipped it's head, eyes bulging, hunting for the source it could smell. It panted heavily. For the sister's, it was like a sound of impending death and they only cling together more tightly. Electra began to mouth to herself a prayer, starting to cry silently too. The sound was deafening.

Slowly- Too slowly, the Alsatian raised its head over the box, inhaling.

There was barely inches between the kittens and the animal.

A moment passed as the dog sniffed, deducing whether it's instincts were right or not. Was there a cat here?

It certainly smelt like there was.

It felt like hours for the kittens as the dog loomed over them, even though it must've been just a matter of seconds. With a loud, sickening wail, the Alsatian left. It was unable to deem the life forms of the kittens, and so it left, agonizingly slowly. Each paw step dragging in the mud until finally they couldn't hear it anymore.

For a moment they couldn't believe it. To realise they had been spared was just too much. Within a fleeting moment, sobs escaped the both of them. Just so thankful to be safe, to be alive.

They didn't leave the box for a while, just crouched sobbing and shaking; unable to process what had just happened.

"E-Etcy," Electra whispered, "We have to get out of here; get into the city centre. They can't attack us there."

Nodding weakly, they both stumbled back to their hind legs and helped each other out of the card board box, still both breathing in fear.

They headed out of the alley and began to walk into London. Their fur was untamed now, and their eyes were bloodshot.

The two Jellicle teenagers reached the centre of the city. It boomed full with humans, from business men to drunk tramps, and vehicles from Rolls Royce's to red buses.

Etcetera was in a daze. She couldn't think straight. Millions of questions raced through her head. Were her family alright? Why had the pollicle let them go? All of London was in a thick blur, she couldn't focus or walk in a straight line. Her heart was still racing, and she felt sick.

"Tumble!" Electra called, catching sight of her friend on all fours outside Hamley's and racing up to him in relief.

Etcetera didn't catch on to the fact that her sister had gone, and carried on walking. Everything span underneath her four paws. Everything moved slowly around her, so slowly. She walked into the road, she didn't think twice, it was just in her path. She wanted to get away, she wanted to lie down and forget about everything that had just happened. She wanted to calm down- A paw stumbled, and then another, she fell headfirst into the-

_"Shit! Etcetera!"_

A strong paw tugged her so she fell hard into a cat's chest just as a taxi whipped past, narrowly missing the cat, wheels screeching over the permitted speed limit as it sped down the road.

It happened so quick- Etcetera had been falling and now was being held against some cats' chest. Etcetera began to panic and let out a sob uncontrollably against a cat she didn't even know; This tom, whoever he was, picked her up by the scruff of her neck (purely because they were in the presence of seeing humans) and carried her to the curb and sat her down.

"Blimey, you could have just killed yourself," Spoke a voice she didn't recognize; it was like velvet. "Are you alright?"

How had he known her name when she had fell?

Etcetera opened her eyes; it was then for the first time she ever saw him. Blazing yellow eyes gazed at her, a soft face streaked scarlet with a shine like silk. Her stomach clenched- as if a conflagration had been set alight within her entire body- a feeling she'd never felt before. Those eyes, they had a glimmer in them, a sparkle that said 'We're going to have some brilliant times together'. The teenager's mouth warbled a bit and she made no sound. A tension suddenly surrounded her like she had never felt before. It was captivating.

"Are you okay?" He asked again, face concerned. He reached out and stroked her jaw, examining her, taking in her every marking. He seemed as stunned as she did.

It was then it became apparent to the teenager that this tom was an adult. A fully grown, middle aged adult. It puzzled her briefly; she had never felt attraction for any cat that was that older than her before. ...She was only sixteen; still technically a kitten. Etcetera felt as if she recognised his face, but couldn't place a cat or name to it however hard she tried to. Who was he? Had she met him before? The sound of traffic, bantering humans and footsteps filled their ears, but neither of them seemed fazed by that.

The whole of London seemed to be moving around them, not noticing what kind of dream they were under; completely paused in a city that never stopped moving.

"I… I'm, I'm okay." She was startled, paralyzed with a feeling she had never felt before- At least not like this. It was a pure rush, a pure attraction.

Her smirked, and helped her to her hind paws. He towered over her like anything. "Good. Are you sure you're not hurt?"

Etcetera nodded numbly, eyeing the perfectly sculptured lips he bore in wonder. She felt safe. This tom, this darn middle-aged tom, was- Much to her annoyance probably in his late thirties or early forties if not later than that. But, blimey... He was beautiful.

The red tom bowed his head but then gave her the most serious expression he could. Etcetera's eyes widened. "You didn't see me here, alright?"

"Wha-"

"Etcetera. You can't tell any of the Jellicles you've seen me." The tom glanced over his shoulder to look outside of Hamley's, the two other teens weren't looking- They hadn't noticed him or what had just happened.

The yellow teenager blinked desperately. "What d-do you mean?"

"If they know I'm here they will come and hurt me, and I don't want any drama, alright? You can't tell anyone, not Jenny or Skimble, not your sister... Not," He stilled, "Jemima, or anyone. Promise me."

Etcetera's jaw gaped a little.

Pausing, the scarlet tom furrowed his brow and asked quietly, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Etcetera blinked, "Who... Who are, who are you?"

"You don't know who I am?" He gasped. When Etcetera failed to respond he reached out again and took a soft touch of the teenager's jaw, and slowly ran a pad over her bottom lip- His own breath hitching as well as hers. Macavity rolled his shoulders back "Good. Let's keep it that way..." He removed his arm and let out a small breath. Did he feel the tension too? Etcetera asked herself. "Don't come looking for me- And for Bast's sake don't go running into roads again."

The red tom smirked again, and then left her, light in his step. Leaving Etcetera in a daze.

Who was that tom?

* * *

**Some Time Later:**

Etcetera, Electra, and Tumblebrutus all sat near the banks in Hyde Park, just trying to pass the time. As the rules stated, if there was a Pollicle attack on the Junkyard to not to return for at least five hours to be safe. They reckoned the dogs had arrived just about two hours ago, so they had time to sit and wait anxiously, hoping their friends had all fleed and took shelter like they had. By this point the group had taken the time to calm down, and were finally starting to relax a little.

Tumblebrutus stretched, letting out a small laugh as the swans purposefully avoided the group and all swarmed near the other edges pining at humans for something as simple as a piece of bread. "Good for nothing geese," He muttered sarcastically, "You'd think that if Queen 'Liz owns all the swans in England then maybe she'd spend money to have them fed instead of making the 'poor' people do it instead."

Electra rolled her eyes, "Tumble, stop begging. You say this every time we're here, you know that?"

He shrugged outwardly, "But it's a fact!"

"Sure" Electra groaned, a light smile on her face.

"Would you rather me go and put the kibosh on?" He enquired with a smirk, "Because I promise you that is so much less entertaining than the former."

"Oh shut up." The red queen giggled swatting him fondly.

He laughed and together they carried on making light conversation, not acknowledging the 'innocent' flirting that was continuously carried out through it. The pair was best friends, only now as they had gotten over had it came to play that they were stuck in the 'friend zone', which was a shame, because they appeared to be perfect together.

Etcetera, who was sat nearby sighed and swallowed. She wasn't listening much, she found she didn't have the energy to. In one morning she could have actually been killed twice! It was a horrifying reality to think about, and she didn't know what to do with herself. But then there was also the strange matter of the tom who had saved her. Whoever he was- She owed her life to and she hadn't even thanked him.

But how had he known who she was? And why, as old as he was had touched her in a way no other cat ever had and made her legs feel like jelly? She wasn't used to this, and it in an odd way... Scared her and intrigued her at the same time. Etcetera tilted her head to one side and closed her green eyes with a small sigh, remembering his face... That face she knew but didn't understand. In her head she imagined herself tracing his jaw bone like he had hers but scorned herself- Bast, he was old enough to be her father. It was so wrong.

It was like how up until she was fifteen had had an insatiable fancy on the Rum Tum Tugger until it hit home how much older he was, but then again _all _the kittens had liked him when they were little.

But then it hit her.

Tugger and that tom with no name had looked so similar. Similar faces, eyes drawn out the same way, same tallness and built frame. That tom had warned her not to tell anyone about him... And had paused before mentioning Jemima.

Etcetera's spirits dropped in an instant.

It couldn't have been anyone else.

It must've been Macavity. Jemima's blood father...The tom who used to be mated with her much older sister, Demeter. The old protector, Deuteronomy's son. He had been in the Junkyard up until Etcetera had been about eight before he had vanished taking Demeter and Jemima with him- Only for them to 'escape' and return to the Junkyard six years later. Demeter had claimed that Macavity had beaten her and almost left her for dead several times during that time. How on earth could Etcetera have forgotten what Macavity had looked and sounded like so quickly? This was bad. This was so very bad. He had been not just banished from London, but from the entirety of the United Kingdom two years ago. They hadn't known where he'd been living since then. But now if he was back he was the threat to every Jellicle she knew, because he hated them. He was famous for it now.

But Etcetera swallowed; why had he saved her life if that was the case?

A few hours later when they returned to the Junkyard, Etcetera so desperately wanted to tell someone about what had happened.

But for some reason, she stuck by Macavity's word, and kept her mouth shut. Only to feel so guilty when Jemima, Munkustrap, and especially Demeter spoke to her. Because they were the ones he had hurt the most.

* * *

**Two weeks Later:**

"Where've you been, div?" Laughed Griddlebone, sauntering out across a wooden floor board. She bared her teeth a little as Macavity entered the room and gave her the most formal expression. The white persion bit her lip and rolled onto her front, yawning, "Please don't tell me you've been at the Junkyard again?"

Macavity narrowed his yellow eyes at his friend and sat down in the bare room, looking a little perturbed.

"You're having a laugh?" Reciprocated the stark queen, tilting her head to the side. She could read him like a book.

The red tom let out a small growl, "I was only there for an hour."

"Just an hour?!" Griddlebone laughed and turned to admire her claws, "Mac, I don't want to break this to you but I think you may be a pedophile you know; Just... throwing it out there."

"That's totally impartial." Macavity snapped, "I'm not a pervert. I just... I just like her."

Griddlebone sat up and crossed her arms, "You, 'like' her?"

"Yes. Why, is that so morally wrong?"

"Well when you're not even actually allowed to be in England and she's best friend with your daughter, and sister's with the mother of the said kitten yes, I'd say so."

Macavity glowered at her, "Shut up, Griddle. We're going back to the US in a few weeks anyway. It's not like I'm going to do anything about it, is it?"

Griddlebone rolled her shoulders back, and changed the subject, "Why do you like her, Macavity? Why do you like this... Etcetera?" The name rolled of her tongue with a certain secretiveness.

"I don't know. Why does any cat like another?" Truth was, Macavity did actually know: It was because she was growing up to be _exactly _like Demeter.

This was not a good thing; especially because after Demeter had betrayed him all those many years ago he had became so angry, he had became obsessed with her.

Etcetera's walk was the same as Demeter's, her eyes were, their builds were almost identical and they even had a similar voice; they moved with the same grace, of which Macavity had experienced today seeing the kitten's body dip, spin and bend with a rare floatiness and flexibility of which had made his heart race like he was a teenager. Etcetera was just like Demeter before she had betrayed him, and he wanted her. Etcetera was beautiful, and he knew it wouldn't be long before he'd try to make her his. The age gap didn't even distract him, he wanted her to be the queen he'd lost so many years ago. He wanted to kiss her, to love her, to dance with her under the stars.

But Macavity knew he couldn't do that. He knew he'd only end up hurting her. Macavity had severe bi-polar disorder; of which the Jellicles had never diagnosed and never understood him for. He could be fine one moment, and then flip the next. That's why he was danger to those he got too close to.

If they upset him, he had the capability of killing them there and then in cold blood. So he couldn't do it, he couldn't go near Etetera. To save her, and himself. He couldn't make the same mistakes again.

But Macavity let out a slow drawn breath as he considered, 'What if she acknowledges me in a similar way to what Demeter had when they were younger?' The thought of the golden queen still made his heart go wild with passion, he knew his obsession was still embedded within him. If Etcetera was to find interest in Macavity and show care and respect for him, would he even be able to control himself?

* * *

**The Jellicle Junkyard:**

"Mother?" Etcetera called, looking up at the Gumbie cat across the clearing.

Jennyanydots beamed at her teenage daughter upon her approach. She laid down her knitting and made room for her on the tyre. Etcetera flopped down with little grace, limbs worn from dancing all morning earning a laugh from her mother. "Etcy, what is it?"

"I was just wondering... I went around to Jem earlier and no one answered the nest's door. But I knew she was in, because Tugger, Deuteronomy and that are too. Why aren't they coming out today?"

Jenny's expression faltered, "Oh... Yes, today is the second year anniversary of the day they disowned Macavity and banished him. They're probably just having some family privacy. I wouldn't go and disturb them."

"Oh." Etcetera sighed, leaving a small silence between them. "Mother?"

"Mm?" Replied Jenny absently.

"Why did they banish Macavity? Jemima doesn't talk about it much... And certainly Demeter won't."

"Dear, I don't think it's best if you should ask all these questions." Jenny warned softly.

The yellow teen fidgeted. She hadn't been able to get her head around it all. Why would a cat who hates the entire tribe save her life? He'd been in all her dreams since it had happened, doing the most unspeakable things, and she knew he'd became an 'idol' image for her personally. So she didn't understand why everyone hated him. And she certainly didn't understand why they all got so nervous talking about it.

Jennyanydots let out a drawn sigh, "Let's just say that when he took Jemima and Demeter away for all those years... Things happened. Things that I won't speak of because the other's will not want you to know. But he was insane, and things he did can not ever be forgiven not by us and not by our religion."

"How do you know it was all his fault?"

Etcetera wanted to know, she wanted to understand.

Jenny frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Well... Clearly Macavity did some 'things' as you said which were terrible, but, do you know his side of the story? When he came back did any of this tribe try to listen to what happened?"

"There was no point, Etcetera." Jenny replied, a little bitterly, "He was insane."

"You have no proof of that."

The gumbie cat gritted her teeth a little, "Etcetera learn some respect. People we love are suffering today because of him. Because of what he did. I don't know where the heck this has all came from, but don't you dare start making that monster out to be innocent."

'_What would she think if I told her he had saved my life?' _Etcetera thought to herself. "I'm not making him out to be innocent, mother. I'm just-"

"No, Etcetera. Stop talking. You're just digging yourself a deep hole. Leave it- It's not worth talking about anyway. It's in the past and for Bast's sake don't start bringing it all into the present."

"But mother-"

"No, Etcetera. Don't venture there, cats will only get hurt." Jenny affirmed strongly, her eyes cold.

Etcetera bit her lip, annoyed, got up and left. She went back to her home and into hers and Electra's shared bedroom. Her sister was sat on her own bed, Tumblebrutus opposite her in deep conversation when she came in. The yellow teen simpered airily, "Sorry am I interrupting?"

Electra smiled, "No of course not."

Tumblebrutus glared at the red queen a little.

Etcetera sighed and came to sit on her own bed next to the pair, stretching out on it with a moan.

"Oh, Etcy," Electra piped up, "Someone left a note for you, it's..." The red teen stretched out and picked it up from the floor, passing it over, "Here. I didn't read it don't worry."

Etcetera furrowed her brow a little and nodded at her sister. She opened it.

_Etcetera,_

_Thanks for sticking up for me against your mother, it makes a change.  
I want to talk to you, come, tonight, the outskirts.  
You're digging way to deep into my past and they can't find out I'm in England, I won't let them and you must understand why.  
Meet me at eight pm sharp._

_Yours sincerely, _

_M. _

The world paused in its orbit. Her heart leaped. Macavity wanted to meet up with her! It was all so true. Part of her suddenly felt a wash of excitement and passion bubble within her, however another part of her was filled with dread. She knew he was dangerous... But was he danger to her?

But how had he known about this?

Had he been watching her?

* * *

**That Night: 7:55pm**

Nervously, Etcetera took a spot on the outskirts of the Jellicle territory. Sure, she was early, but it couldn't hurt. The sky was dark, and stars blanketed out by thick musky clouds, and even the moon didn't show. She shivered lightly in the cold and prayed that Macavity would be around soon. Her stomach twisted with fretfulness as she waited, counting the seconds on a non-existent clock.

"Etcy? What are you doing out here?"

It was Jemima, she appeared from the shadows into the smaller clearing, confused. Her eyes were wide in innocent wonder, not suspicious of anything bad that was about to happen.

Etcetera panicked inside, what if Macavity arrived and Jemima was here? What would happen then? She was his daughter and he'd abandoned her. Guilt stabbed Etcetera like a knife, but she smiled nonetheless, "I'm... I'm meeting someone."

"Who?" The small calico asked, ears pricking with interest. A warm soul in the dank environment.

Etcetera thought quickly, she had to get Jemima to leave and fast, her heart was staring to race. "Just... A friend."

Jemima paused, and suddenly broke out into a knowing expression, "Oh," She bounced her eyebrows and smirked, "When did you meet this 'friend' then?"

"A few days ago." Etcetera lied quickly.

Macavity's daughter let out a small chuckle, her smile pining and flirtatious, "Is he fit? He better be."

Thrown by her question and feeling the awkwardness sink in, she replied without thinking, feeling her stomach twist in culpability. "Yes, very."

"Ooh!" Squealed the younger teen excitedly, "Okay... I will go, but I want all the gossip tomorrow, okay? I can't believe you haven't told me about this already!"

"I will." Responded Etcetera.

Jemima grinned, "Promise?"

Etcetera swallowed as she forced out the words, "...I promise"

Jemima nodded, waved farewell and practically skipped out of the outskirts of the Jellicle community, light on her heels as always- As if she was always heading somewhere exciting. Etcetera let out a huge measure of air, and ran a paw through her head fur.

Hearing sounds near her, Etcetera stood up, anxious, and watched in awe as Macavity stepped out into the frosty darkness, not at all fazed by the cold. He must have hidden whilst Jemima had been there.

Upon seeing her, her mouth went partly dry and her head began to float, she now could see him in full light and oh, he didn't fail to disappoint. Etcetera began to feel herself burn up; and she no longer shivered... Well, she didn't shiver because of the weather, at least.

The scarlet tom smiled at her smoothly, and dipped his head a little, "Etcetera, thank you for coming."

She nodded, feeling the pang of error in her ways. If her family knew what she as doing now, there'd be an uproar. Jenny's words, _"He's insane" _rang in her head like the chimes of Big Ben.

"It seems you stuck up for me today, and you worked out who I was. You're very... Intuitive."

"T-Thank you."

He smirked, before standing closer to her. "Now, I only came to tell you one thing. You have to stop mentioning me to the others. What happened before... It was a very bad thing, and I shan't explain it to you. I am not in England to cause any trouble, I'm here for work. In a few weeks, me and a few friends are moving back to where we were before. I don't want to cause any drama or pain here."

"What sort of work do you do?"

Macavity looked her over, and smiled, "Inquisitive and intuitive are we?"

"Sorry," She blushed, "I-I'm a little nosy."

"It's fine. But my work is staying private if you don't mind. Not because of you in particular... Just those around you." Macavity explained honestly.

She nodded at this. How can they all hate him? He was such a gentle tom.

"Now, Etcetera. Can you promise me that you will let all this go? Forget it ever happened, if you must. Just don't linger on it any more." Macavity forced his words out, although Etcetera didn't notice; he was fighting away the urges to pick her up and kiss her right there and then. Even on such a regular day she looked so beautiful.

She blinked her wide green eyes at him, "Yes, of course. I promise."

"Thank you so much." Macavity bowed like had had done before, and turned to leave.

"Wait," Etcetera breathed.

Macavity turned, shocked.

"I, um, I never thanked you."

The red tom paused, "For what?"

Etcetera swallowed again, "For saving me, the other week."

He shrugged, "I'm just glad I was there. I shudder at the thought of what could have happened to you."

"What do you mean?" She asked softly, unconsciously stepping closer.

Macavity began to feel worried. How much longer could he restrain himself? "Well, um," He stepped closer too, the gap between them getting shorter, "It's just... The images, of someone like you, all mangled." He didn't even register what he did next. His arm reached up and ran over her jaw bone, raising her innocent face to his less innocent, "No one as pretty as you should ever be caught in such a situation like that."

Etcetera was frozen to the spot. Had he actually just said that? He was so much older than her! This made no sense at all... But she didn't run away. She didn't make a sound. Next thing she knew, his lips were on hers, ever so light, barely grazing.

Etcetera had been kissed before, well at least when her and Misto had had the briefest of relationships a few months back they had shared the odd 'peck'; but it hadn't worked out, they just hadn't been meant to be. Etcetera quivered, stunned, and was shocked herself when she felt herself react, moving in return.

She'd never been kissed like this, this was something else to what she'd experienced before. Macavity knew what he was doing, and she felt herself going weak at the strange feelings that swamped her. It was almost as if he was teaching her, guiding her, making her feel... Mature.

Little did they know that neither one of them had actually wanted this to happen, but it was happening anyway.

Macavity let out a small content moan and parted them, eyes questioning. Only then did he bring them back together, only more firm this time, more adventurous. This was all new to Etcetera, but as much as she wanted to she didn't stop, she had no idea how long it went on for. But eventually they parted, eyes alight in a sense of intimacy that seemed so startle them both.

What had they just done? A look of shock lingered on both of their faces, as well as shame... But the uncensored passion remained their like a small lit flame in a dark room. It practically blinded them.

Macavity reached around,rested both his paws around Etcetera's neck and guided them down to the small of her back, and she shivered. "Meet me here tomorrow." He whispered, before stepping away and leaving. His body sliding away like an angels'.

Etcetera stood alone in the outskirts of the clearing, absolutely unable to process what on earth had just happened. She had not expected that.

* * *

**Rightio!**

**Anyone who read my last story... I'm just throwing it out here the plot is not the same at all- It develops in a completely new way. **

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! PRETTY PLEASE leave feedback and subscribe etc, I need motivation! **

**Thank you for reading!**

**Emily Doreen x**


	2. To Defy all Morals

**Hello everyone! Here we are, the second installment of Between Love and Obsession! Sorry it's taken me longer than expected, but as a number of you do know I have been performing every single day last week and I've had exams to get ready for too. Gah, tiring days... But it's the Easter Holidays really soon, so hopefully I will update a lot more then! - Even if I do have to go back to school a lot for revision -_- Silly English schooling system! **

* * *

**Chapter 2: To Defy all Morals**

Macavity let out a small chuckle at the bundle of yellow fur laid across his chest like a cuddly toy- Which to him, she was. "Good night, Etcetera." Unwillingly, Macavity sat up and Etcetera joined him, she stretched and tore her green eyes to him again, lit by the grace of the moon.

"Sleep well, Macavity." She grinned, locking lips with the tall tom in a confident kiss, full of feeling and adoration. Macavity smiled into it and settled his arms around her waist, easing her closer to his chest as she sat taller to meet his caresses; uncontrollably, she let out a small whimper of contentment. Breathless, they parted and gazed into each other's eyes for the best of a few moments; both wishing they had more time.

Macavity brushed his paw over her cheek, "See you on Wednesday, and don't be late."

She giggled, "I'll try my hardest not to, I promise." Etcetera kissed his paw as it reached her lips, before whispering a quiet "Farewell my love", as she departed into the night.

Macavity watched her leave, a light smile on his face but it faltered, the warmth in his heart slowly dissipated into a conscious ache he always got when she left. An hour at almost every few days; that was it. He wished he could spend more time with her. He missed her when she was gone and he'd find himself dreaming of her and only her. He wanted her to be his forever, but couldn't pressure her. ...He couldn't scare her away, not when they'd come this far already.

In one week, he had to leave England again; this was what his job asked of him... But he had decided now, he couldn't lose Etcetera like this. She and him were perfect together. Macavity knew he was going talk her half way across the world with him, even if she protested.

* * *

**Three Weeks Before:**

Etcetera stumbled into her nest, unable to keep the shock from her face. Had that all just happened? Had Macavity really just kissed her? All her thoughts were scattered, she'd never felt so eluded, as if she was walking on air and dreams.

When she walked in, Jenny looked up from her small table, brow burrowing, "Etcy? Where'er you been?"

The yellow teen swallowed, she felt as if she couldn't form any words- And yet she still responded lightly, "Just walking."

The gumbie cat queried her with a glance and then dipped her head a little in acceptance, "Be quiet when you go in, your sister is asleep."

"Okay, mother."

Softly, Etcetera padded into her and sister's bedroom on all fours. She smirked at her sister stretched out in a rather 'provocative' position uncontrollably as she slept over the blanket. _"She's going to make some tom very happy someday" _The teen omitted to herself with a small grin.

Etcetera flopped onto her bed with an audible sigh, and rolled onto her back, eyes wide in thought as she considered everything that had just happened. How had it happened? This was never meant to be… And she was certainly not meant to feel elated by it.

_Macavity stumbled into the warehouse and perched himself onto a stool. Sighing, he dragged a small bottle of Shandy and poured it into an old shot glass. He blanched as he downed the contents. The red tom closed his eyes and rubbed a paw on his temple. How had this happened? He was meant to control himself. She was his ex-mate's younger sister… This wasn't meant to happen, he wasn't, and he certainly hated that he felt anxious like a teenager with a crush._

What was going to happen now? Etcetera certainly didn't want to see him again- 'No,' she scorned herself, knowing that was lie- Of course she wanted to see him again! He was such a mystery to her, a mystery although she tried she couldn't untangle. It thrilled her. Bast, the thoughts going through her head were both scaring her and offending who she was. She was a Jellicle, and the Jellicle's h_ated _Macavity… That was how they lived. She couldn't do this to her friends. But maybe he didn't want this, maybe she'd never see him again. Hmm, the thought calmed her; maybe he'd keep out of her way and she could forget about it.

_With a small moan, Macavity clicked his claws against the glass in deep thought. What would he do now? He'd kissed her… The connection had been made, and although he hated himself for it, he wouldn't be able to let go so easily, especially when her lips had had the texture of Demeter's but with a fullness that had excited him in a whole new way. She fascinated him, simply because she didn't seem afraid; More interested, to be exact. Was it possible for a Jellicle to have the heart to understand him for who he was? But… Bast! She was sixteen, it was so wrong. He should keep away from her, never see her or think of what happened again. But, oh, …He wanted her so badly. He couldn't not see her again._

Etcetera rolled onto her stomach and buried her face into her pillow. After a good while, she had 'convinced' herself that that any notion of a romance between her and Macavity would be a mistake, so she went to sleep. If he sought to see her again, she would tell him 'no', and pray that he would understand.

However as she slept, she dreamed… She dreamed of her and Macavity dancing, the most sensual, romantic and even slightly erotic dance ending with fleeting kisses as he murmured "I love you" over and over. When Etcetera woke up, she felt flustered as she realised in agonising annoyance… That that tom had completely infatuated her.

_"Macavity?" Griddlebone called, stepping quietly into the main room; she glowered slightly at the sight of the red tom hunched over the table, "How much have you drank?"_

_"Not enough." Muttered Macavity with a small moan._

_The white persian slunk over to him took the seat next to his, "What's happened?" She asked, knowing he'd done something stupid.. She always knew._

_"Etcetera." Was his only response._

_Griddlebone's shoulders dropped a little, "You saw her again, didn't you?"_

_"...She's so much like Demeter."_

_"Macavity what did you do?"_

_The red tom let out a breath and took yet another shot, "I kissed her; and I know she wants me too. Griddle, I can't get involved with the Jellicles again, not after last year."_

_"Who knows about that? In the Junkyard, I mean." Questioned Griddlebone, ignoring the fact that he had kissed the teenager._

_Macavity shrugged, "Only Skimble, Jemima and my brother, that's it. ...Etcetera thinks this is the first time I've been in England since two years ago. Apart from those three no one else knows I came back again last year. And they can't know about it either. I mean, if she found out what happened with Jemima then-"_

_"Macavity don't think about it. Since last year you've come so far, and I know you're not capable of doing something as stupid as that ever again." Griddlebone shrugged, "Sure, I mean liking this teenager is a crime in itself... But it's not for revenge like it was with Jemima. But it's dangerous, Macavity. If I were you, knowing how you function you need to know from this kitten now that she doesn't want to be with you, you should ask her for that confirmation. If she can tell you that she doesn't want you, only then can you leave her alone. To save yourself and her."_

* * *

**Outside-**

Jemima sat out on the tyre, lifelessly gazing into the moonlight. She appeared content enough, to the naked eye at least. Inside she was squirming in pain and annoyance. Munkustrap, her father was on duty, quietly patrolling the widths of the Junkyard with his head held high. He smiled when he saw his daughter, but it dropped. He sighed and stepped over to her, "Jem, I know you're thinking about it... Are you okay?"

The small teenager shrugged, "What do you think?"

"As long as your mother doesn't find out." The protector mumbled, "She can't know."

"It was a year ago... I don't know why I keep thinking about it all, father." Jemima breathed, before closing her eyes and letting her shoulders slump.

Munkustrap swallowed, "After all this time you still wish I'd never found out, don't you?"

"Of course I don't. I don't know why Skimble had to tell you about it; You still don't look at me the same way-"

"Don't be like that-"

"But you don't, father." Jemima lamented, "As much as you try to, you don't think of me like you did before."

The silver tom let out a small breath because he knew what she was saying was true, "Just be thankful he won't be coming back. Macavity will never come into your world again, you know that, right?"

Numbly, she nodded. "...I can't help but wonder though, what if he does? What if he comes back like he did last year? What would happen then?"

"Then we'd protect you. No way is he going to hurt you again." Jemima nodded and curled into her father's side as he shushed her softly. "I'd never let that happen... To you, your mother, or to any other cat in this tribe- You know his game, at first he'll make you love him, and then he'll break you in the most painful way he can... Just like he did to me and you, remember?" He rubbed Jemima's shoulder and held her close, "But please just remember that we scared him away, he'll never be coming back."

* * *

**The Next Day:**

Etcetera laughed, sat within her small group upon the Junkpile which consisted of herself, Electra, Tumblebrutus and Victoria. The white teenager stretched, moaning, "Where's Plato?"

Electra let out a giggle, "Ah, missing him are we?"

"I haven't seen him in two days." Victoria complained, "I was just wondering."

"He's at his owners, Vic. He'll be back in the next day or so, don't fret." Tumble cut in lightly, unconsciously sitting a little 'too' close to Electra, "How are you both going, anyway?"

Victoria grinned and shook her head, "That's nothing for you to know. Anyway, I had a very interesting chat with Jemima earlier."

"About what?" Asked Etcetera, trying to appear more interested than she was- Bast, she was distracted with everything that had happened the night before, she was struggling to listen at all.

The teenager smirked, "You, silly. She told me you met up with a tom last night."

Electra's ears picked up, "Etcy why didn't you tell me about this?"

Etcetera frowned... She couldn't tell them. She could never tell them. Heat bloomed over her body and nerves shrouded her. She didn't want to lie... But she had told Jemima she was meeting a tom, she had to be clever about this. "...It's sort of unofficial."

Tumblebrutus let out a laugh, "Unofficial? Etcy, who is it?"

"Oooh!" Victoria exclaimed suddenly, a knowing look crossing her face, "Is it Pouncival? He was out last night-"

"Was who Pouncival?" A voice called, and the said tom approached them, smirking; In his paws he held a flower... A flower he had actually bought to give Etcetera. It was common knowledge he had fancied her for a while now, only the yellow teen had denied it at every turn because he had never told her openly how he felt about her.

"No... No it wasn't Pouncival." Muttered Etcetera.

"I'm confused." Moaned the teenage tom.

Victoria sighed exasperatedly, "Etcetera met up with a tom last night and won't tell us who."

"...Oh." Pouncival replied softer, trying not to let the hurt in his eyes show, "Who is it?" Niftly, he turned and placed the flower behind his back as he sat down, he didn't want to be humiliated.

"Guys... It doesn't matter, we're taking it slow and he isn't anyone you know well, let it be for now okay?"

Electra frowned, displeased, "I can't believe you didn't tell me. Why can't you give me his name?"

The teenager swallowed, before responding cautiously, "He isn't Jellicle... He isn't religious at all, actually. I want things to work with us but I doubt it'd be accepted. So no one can know yet, especially not mother and father before you all start gossiping, so keep your gobs shut if you will."

"But you will tell us soon, yes?" Tumblebrutus pondered.

Etcetera smiled as she lied, "Oh yes, as soon as I think we've actually got something special... Then of course I will."

Small nods were passed through the group and Pouncival just swallowed awkwardly; his brother patted him on the back, the only gesture he could think of in the situation to comfort him at all.

"Is Jemima coming out today?" Electra asked openly, laying out on her stomach with propped elbows.

Victoria shrugged, "Probably, she and Munkustrap were out last night. But just be careful what you say to her if you see her, alright? It's still around the two-year anniversary of when her real father was kicked out of the Junkyard and when she came back. I'm guessing all the family even Tugger will be a bit on edge now."

Etcetera's stomach plummeted; they never even said Macavity's name, as if it was forbidden and it made her heart ache... Why had all her friends been raised to hate a tom they could barely remember from their kittenhood? In her eyes, it didn't seem right at all.

"I feel so sorry for them," Electra breathed, her eyes lowering, "I heard mother and father talking the other night... About some horrible things."

"Like what?" Tumblebrutus asked softly.

The red queen swallowed, "None of you can say anything." Around the group a number acknowledged a response and she halted a breath, before telling them quietly, "I heard them saying how _he _used to hit Demeter, and Jemima too. And then they began to discuss... To discuss who Jemima's real father was, because apparently the reason they were taken away for years was because he found out that Jemima wasn't his,; that she was some other cats from the Junkyard; But Demeter still hasn't come out about who it is." Electra sat up and folded her arms nervously, explaining, "And apparently he ignored Jemima for years, never said one word to her... She still thought of him as her father, so when she questioned him then he beat her. When they came back here they were escaping from everything. ...That's why he was exiled, I'm certain."

Etcetera took in a hefty breath. Surely this wasn't right? She steeled herself, afraid of bursting into tears there and then. Those soft lips that had kissed her couldn't possibly belong to a tom who had physically beaten her best friend and older sister? Her heart was shattering with every syllable.

Pouncival ran a paw through his head fur, "Bast... Are you sure?"

"I can't be sure but that's what I heard. But you have to swear to me not to say anything. Please."

Victoria laid her head against Electra's shoulder, "Poor Jemima, she always acts so happy. I mean, sure we knew somethings terrible had happened but I can't even begin to imagine... I feel like I should say something, but I shouldn't."

Tumblebrutus closed his eyes, "Whatever happened it's in the past, we shouldn't be talking about it. Let's agree that we won't ever talk about this again, okay? It's their business, not ours."

* * *

**Later:**

Unable to escape the small trembles that raced down her arms, Etcetera sat alone, again, on the outskirts of the Junkyard... She was waiting for Macavity- That is, if he showed up. So many thoughts were racing through her head. Looking upwards, she let out a small inward moan as damp white orbs began to circle down from the sky. She shivered at the unseasonal weather although truthfully it didn't bother her too much. She didn't understand, she felt so afraid and yet so inquisitive at the same time. Oh Macavity, the very thought of him was driving her to the point of madness.

"I'm sorry, Etcetera."

The voice startled her, and she jumped to her hind paws.

Macavity stood behind her, a good few feet away; the light snow danced of his red fur beautifully. He seemed awkward, tense, and even frustrated. Etcetera cocked her head to the side, and made a step to move closer to him as she wondered how long he'd been stood there at all.

He moved back, panic in his eyes, "No... Don't come close to me. Please, don't come close to me."

Etcetera's jaw slacked, "Macav-"

"Don't speak, please don't tempt me." His yellow eyes were wide in an expression she could almost read as fear. "Just listen to me, tell me that you don't want me. Look me in the eye and say it. Tell me that there are no feelings that you have for me, honestly." He was begging her, and she didn't understand. "Please, _please_ tell me. If you say it then I can leave you alone."

Etcetera felt heat bloom over her and her expression broke a little, "I can't"

He raised his eyes, as if she was crazy, "What?"

"I can't tell you that I d-don't want you," She admitted slowly, "Because... Because I do; I don't know why, I really don't understand why but I do."

Macavity shook his head in aggravation, "I'm a horrible cat, Etcetera. Please don't tell me you want me because I will make you mine and I swear once I have someone I can't let go of them easily."

"You're not horrible-"

"How do you know that? You don't even know me!" His tone raised a little, and she pulled back in shock, "You're a kitten, you're sixteen... You know nothing of what I've done to the ones you love, you don't know the mess I've made of my life."

"I know that Demeter cheated on you," Etcetera cut in, "And I can imagine how much that must've hurt you, especially when you thought Jemima was yours."

Macavity stooped back in shock. "...I don't even know to this day who her father is." He muttered, distracted as the topic of Jemima came filtering into his thoughts.

Etcetera swallowed, "Demeter's mated to Munk now, don't you think it could just be-"

"No." The response shocked the younger teenager with it's hostility, "My brother would have never done that to me. Out of all the cats in that entire tribe, there's no one I trust more than him." Macavity's shoulders sagged a little.

"This isn't all your fault." She insisted and the red toms ears began to press towards his head, "My mother... The other day she called you insane, why was that?"

Macavity appeared absolutely thrown off and astounded at her words. How could she have known any of the information about Demeter? He felt as if their argument had switched. The poor kitten, she only wanted to understand- She didn't understand how much false hope was setting alight in Macavity's heart; she was the first Jellicle cat in years who had listened to him fairly.

"I have severe bipolar disorder," He admitted, running an arm through his head fur, now sodden with the snow, "I had signs of it since I was a kitten, I scared even myself and yet my father never had me tested; probably to protect his pride... So I didn't get help early enough, and now I cannot handle myself when things go wrong in my life, or when those I love hurt me, I can't. I'm a physical danger to the ones who break my heart." He turned away as he confessed, "Etcetera... You're so beautiful, I've only really met you twice since you've grown up and I can't stop thinking about you. But I have to stay away- Because the more I feel for another the more I am capable of hurting them, and that's the truth."

The teenager was left gasping in shock, her heart reaching out to him... All this time he'd been mentally ill, surely this wasn't all his fault then? Etcetera suddenly felt confident, and she had no idea why, "Is that why you beat Demeter and Jemima?"

His eyes shot to hers- _'Who had told her about that?'_

"I mean, they hurt you, they both hurt you."

Macavity shook his head, and suddenly appeared emotional, as if he was nearing his breaking point, "I loved them so much, I didn't want to hurt them... But I couldn't stop myself- And I can't do it to you as well-"

"I know you won't. I don't even know you that well, but I know that you will never beat me." She stepped closer to him, and this time he didn't walk away, he seemed too shocked to do so, "I trust that you will never beat me." Her eyes displayed a fierce determination, and an intensity she'd never felt herself convey before. "You won't ever hurt me, you're so much better than that."

"Etcetera?" He breathed, "What are you doing?"

Shaking like a leaf, she slowly reached out and took a hold of his paw, he startled at the contact. Etcetera gently formed it into a fist and held his arm out to her. "I give you permission. If you are really so heartless and so full of hate, then hit me now and I will never see you again-"

"Etcetera no-"

"I-I can't get you out of my head. Everything that you're making me feel is wrong," With a small whimper, her green eyes bore into his, "I keep having this dream of us dancing, and yours paws covering my body all over." She looked away, blinking off snow that had fallen against her eyelashes, "I shouldn't feel like that, not with someone who is so broken inside. I want you to break my feelings for you, my interest. Show me that you are the heartless cat that I think you're not. Show me please, and only then can I tell you I don't want you."

Macavity furrowed his brow and his stomach twisted, "You're crazy... I can't just beat someone, you can't want that!"

"Well how else am I meant to be afraid to come looking for you again?" She retorted, "If you want to save me you'd beat me now. But I know you won't because I know you care too much, you're too great a cat for that."

"No! Have you lost your mind?!"

Etcetera wiped her eyes that were producing tears she hadn't noticed. She didn't know what she was saying any more, the words poured out of her like a waterfall. She didn't want to be beaten! But she couldn't stop the need to know how he really felt for her. She had to understand. Everything was out of place and nothing felt right.

"I've never been beaten! My entire life- I need to be afraid of something so powerful, a pain like this, a pain that you inflicted-"

"You can't ask for something like this- Please, just tell me you don't want me." Macavity begged desperately, feeling his fur begin to bristle.

Etcetera gasped and pushed herself almost against his chest uncomfortably, "Break my feelings for you, I don't want to love you!"

"You love me?!" Macavity gasped, "No! I don't even know you-"

"Sorry I don't know why I said that!"

"You can't allow yourself to love me!" He hissed, yellow eyes burning, "I'm wrong, I'm sick! _Get away from me!"_

Etcetera screamed, her body making contact with the floor. Air forcing its way out of her lungs at too quick a force. Pain skewered through her diaphragm and she began coughing at a full throttle rate between cries of pain. Stars blitzed behind her eyes and she almost collapsed there and then in terror. She was a pile of joined body parts in amongst the newly falling snow. She didn't register Macavity's legs giving in next to her.

He had lashed out because she had feelings for him, and it terrified him more than anything. The sounds of her sobs made his heart ache, and without realizing he found himself crawling over to her and laying her across his lap. He bought his paws over her diaphragm and a warm glow filtered them for a few seconds. The pain left Etcetera as quickly as it had arrived. He had healed her. Astounded, she opened her eyes and gazed into his, completely thrown off by the amount of fear in them. He sat her upright as she still shook in the horror of his attack. "I'm sorry."

He got up to leave, and began to run from the clearing.

Etcetera scrambled to her hind paws and chased after him, "Macavity wait, this was my fault! Don't go-" She reached up to him and she pulled his arms around his waist.

He pushed her away, "We were both confused."

"I understand why you're mad at me I really do I don't know what-"

"We were both just..."

Etcetera let out a small cry and secured her arms onto him tighter, up to his chest, "It was my fault-"

"No," Macavity pressed, moving her arms away, "Don't touch me, don't... It was me, all me. Something in me started when I hit you, just like it did the others."

"But it was me I understand-"

"Etcetera please, just go." He sat down on the frozen mud ignoring the cold and dragged his pained paws to his head.

The yellow teenager stared at him nervously, before kneeling down and running her paws over his broad shoulder, breathing in his musky scent as she did, "...I really don't think your heartless, even now. You shouldn't hate yourself."

Macavity turned his head to hers. He was stood so close she could practically hear the beating of his heart and it sent chills running down her spine "Forgive me."

Etcetera couldn't form a response, just settled her arms around him and hugged into his neck tightly. Macavity suppressed a small cry, no one had made such an affectionate contact with him in years. Their foreheads brushed eachothers which bought their eyes to meet eachother's, the intensity once again burning through them both. Macavity sucked in a small breath before crashing his lips to hers. Etcetera responded instantly and wrapped his arms around his neck. Their was an urgency in his kisses that couldn't be denied, and it was then it hit the teenager how intimate it was. She pulled away, "No Macavity we shouldn't-"

"Shouldn't what?" He asked, holding onto her arms, "Love? Feel alive in this moment?"

"Macavity!"

His lips found hers again, more adventurous this time. Gasping, she felt him make entrance into her mouth and a whole shelf of new feelings exploded inside of her like she was ready to burst at any minute. Etcetera couldn't help the moan that escaped her which only kept him going, he began to lay her down in the snow, and placed a paw onto her hip securing her there. She began to surrender to the pleasure of what she was feeling, up until the moment his paw began to trail up her shin to her thigh.

"No- No!" She gasped, forcing his arm away. He stared at her in disbelief, "...N-Not now, it's sinful... I can't."

Macavity blinked at her, before remembering how young she was and nodding lightly, bringing her lips to his again.

_"Etcy!"_

Both of the pair stopped breathing; they knew that voice, it belonged to Skimbleshanks. He was looking for his daughter.

"Etcetera, come on." Macavity whispered, voice low and husky as he briskly pulled her to her paws. Silently as they could, they clambered over Junk to go to the other side, sandwiching themselves awkwardly in between the remnants of two old vehicles. She clung to his arms as they waited. His strong body was pressed against her in such a fashion she felt she could barely breath. His paws softly brushed the small of her back making her look up. His gaze was so intense she couldn't look away.

"Etcetera! Where are you, lass? We're about to have dinner."

Macavity held her securely against him in a strict silence, just listening to the railway cats' calls and footsteps as he paced around the secluded area of the clearing. Etcetera buried her head into the red tom's chest, shivering at how cold it was, and still trembling at the intimacy that flowed through her. "Mac," She whispered discreetly her breath coming fast and shallow, "I should go-"

He kissed her cutting her words off, and she almost slumped back in defeat. Parting he mouthed, "Relax" and held her to his chest again.

Skimble paced, becoming more anxious, "Are you out here?"

Gazing upwards she saw Macavity whisper a small chant; Etcetera furrowed her brow in wonder, "He can't hear us- I've blocked it. Now listen to me... I am here for work, I am not here to stay, within the next month I'll have to go... This can't carry on, it can't last, Etcetera." He sighed and nestled his head closer to his headfur, "As much as we may want it to."

"What about until you leave?" She asked quietly, raising her eyes to focus on him; he tensed at her words- "I just want to know you, to understand why everyone hates you... You're the most beautiful cat I've ever seen."

"Etcetera," He gasped, completely thrown off by what she said, "I'm trying to save you. What if the Jellicles find out? You'd be disowned, you'd be exiled like me. I can't be the reason for your life being led astray, I'm not worthy of your trust or your affections."

The yellow teenager closed her eyes briefly and pressed her head closer against his chest. Macavity cradled her gently; trying not to react to how much she felt like Demeter against him, "Just let me understand... And once you go I will never bother you again, please. You're all I can think about, you are driving me to the point of madness."

"A-are you sure?"

She gazed up, and pressed her lips softly to his in a chaste kiss as a response. Macavity hated himself for letting her, because he knew it could end with him hurting her ever so easily. But he couldn't ignore the fact he wanted her. "Go on, go to your father. I'll see you again soon."

Etcetera nodded shakily before stepping out into the view of her father, "Where've you been?" He asked as she looked behind her, only to see Macavity wasn't there anymore.

* * *

"So... Me and Demeter, we have an announcement." Munk grinned, his arm wrapped around his mate's waist securely. Jennyanydots, Electra and Jemima sat opposite them excitedly; because the couple had bantered on about this 'announcement' all day.

Jemima bounced a little on her seat and focused her eyes on her parents, "What is it?"

Demeter and Munkustrap exchanged a look before breaking out into a small laugh. Jenny rolled her shoulders back and smiled, "Come on you two, I don't have all day I've got to serve this meal out."

"Well," The silver tabby coughed awkwardly as his mate took a firm grip of his paw, "Myself and Demeter, we-"

"Sorry we're late!" Skimble called, entering the nest followed quickly by Etcetera. Electra rolled her eyes and shuffled where she sat.

"You took your bloody time." She commented, eyes narrowing at her sister.

The yellow teen shrugged and breathed a quick, "Sorry" Before sitting down. Etcetera rested her elbow on the table and placed it carefully over her lips, knowing full well that they were still slightly swollen.

"Have you seen this weather?" Skimble complained, "It's almost April and yet still snowing, 'only in England.'"

Jemima frowned a little and cocked her head at her friend meanwhile Skimble created a huge arge about climbing over Munk and Demeter to sit at his 'spot' at the table, "Who were you with?"

Etcetera didn't know how to respond to that, she just gave Jemima a look to which the smaller teenager nodded lightly, but she didn't smile like she had done the night before... Because at that moment a scent had hit her, it was faint, but familiar. It was almost like Macavity's... But Jemima tried to evade the thought, convinced it couldn't be. Still, it bought back the ideal of what had happened in the past and the scent was quite tormenting. It wiped the grin of her face in an instant. "Jem are you alright?" Skimble asked, finally sitting down with a huge smile on his face.

"Mm?"

"Are you okay? You look a little pale." He continued, eyes softening a little as the laughs from around the table began to calm down.

Feeling suddenly the center of attention, the tortashell kitten forced a small smile, "Yes, I'm okay."

"Good," Demeter beamed, before turning to her mate, "Shall you tell them or shall I?"

Munkustrap grinned, "Everyone..." He swallowed, cleared his throat and turned his gaze proudly to his family, "...Demeter's pregnant, about two and a half weeks gone."

A small silence followed in which no one said anything, before almost everyone exploded in elated shock, questions began to be fired from everywhere as well as squeals of excitement. "Oh come on dear, let me hug you!" Jenny bolstered, Demeter pushed herself to her hind paws and quickly walked to her mother, embracing in a thick hug, in which Jemima joined. Etcetera and Electra stood up too to shroud over their older sister.

Skimbleshanks shook Munkustrap's paw strongly, "Good job, lad. I'm sure this was planned, yes?"

The protector laughed, "Shockingly, yes."

"Have you told your father yet?"

He shook his head, "Nope. Demeter was pretty insistent you were the first to find out; I'm not entirely sure why."

Skimble chortled a little, "Well, you know it's about time you had a litter of your own, lad. I'm sure you'll treat them just as well as you do Jemima."

"I'll do my best." Munkustrap replied simply although his eyes had dropped a little- In guilt perhaps, before raising his head as Demeter came to sit on his lap.

"Right!" Jenny exclaimed, "Everyone sit down, we haven't even started this meal yet."

Sitting down, Etcetera tried to listen but she was finding it hard to concentrate on all this kitten talk. She had heard what Skimble had just said... Earlier when she had found out that Macavity wasn't Jemima's father she had just assumed the latter, that it was Munk... After all Demeter was mated to him now. But now she didn't know- Who was Jemima's real father? What would happen if Macavity ever found out? ...How would he react to the fact that Demeter was pregnant again now?

* * *

Within the next few weeks, everything changed for Etcetera. Her and Macavity falling madly in love changed her indefinitely, and she found herself in so many situations she had never expected.

She had never expected Pouncival to try having his way with her at the Jellicle Ball, leading her to move away with Macavity for the best of four days in shock and horror of what he had done.

She had never wished for her parents to nearly throw her out after rumours were spread about her 'sleeping around' because she wouldn't tell anyone the tom she had been seeing's name.

She never wanted Munkustrap to be attacked one night out on patrol after she found out the truth.

She had certainly never predicted that through one stupid mistake Jemima would find out about everything, costing their friendship and Etcetera to discover the worst secret she could ever stumble upon. A secret that would make her hate Macavity forever. But a secret that once exposed would cause Macavity to show a side of himself that she had always been certain he didn't truly have. A side that she would never forget.

* * *

**Now, I think this chapter was a little weird, but I wanted just a 'passing' chapter so we can soon begin on all the drama xD **

**PS: The snow was simply because, well... It's the 24th of March and we're literally having snow storms right now here. It's actually mental, because although England is freezing and it rains all the time we never get inches of snow past Febuary at the latest... So yes, I was just having an inner snow rant whilst writing this.**

**Please review (even if it is anonymous) I really don't mind!**

**Thank you for all the continued support!**

**Emily x**


	3. To Act Upon Impulse

**Good day everyone! Here we are at chapter three! Things begin to get a little heated from now, but the drama to come is only just starting! Anyway, my current mood is completely flibberjibbet (Yes, that is an actual word for all you non-Brits, see if you know what it means) So I'll stop ranting now :) Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 3: To Act on Impulse**

**Warning- Scenes of a mild sexual nature, although nothing too graphic.**

* * *

"Honestly, you're more immature than me!" Giggled Etcetera lightheartedly, following Macavity down the path of a rural area of London, away from prying eyes. The red tom had changed his appearance, and he posed as a tom a few years older than Etcetera with deep brown fur. This wasn't the first time they'd actually gone from Jellicle territory like this, so the younger teenager had grown accustomed to it now. She only saw the scarlet tom underneath.

Macavity wiped a dandelion bud that was stuck on his nose and chuckled, "Leave me alone. A tom should never be expected to grow up."

"I wish I could grow up, and soon," Etcetera chastised lightly as he caught up with her, "Then I wouldn't feel as guilty all the time."

"You are mature though," Cut in Macavity, stretching his thicker fur, "Very mature for your age in comparison to a lot of the others in the tribe."

Etcetera cast her eyes ahead "Well actually everyone has said that I've acted oddly grown up the past few days. I'm blaming you for that. I'm getting so much stick though, being out a lot. No other cat my age seems to do that you see, and they all know I'm seeing someone... My father asked if I could invite you over."

He sighed and cupped his brown paw in her cream one, "If I could do that and know that they wouldn't see through my cover I would. But with cats like Demeter and Jemima they'd know straight away, it's better we don't risk it. Anyway there's no point, I go home in a couple of weeks and that'll be the end of it." A pang hit his heart as he said those words. He really did like her. After getting to know her more he realized she wasn't just a dumb teenager, she had grown up intuitive with a good nature and he wanted to see how it went.

"To be fair though Demeter's barely been outside. She's going through the works now with morning sickness and that"

Macavity stiffened, "What?"

Etcetera cocked her head in confusion before it hit her like a bombshell... It had slipped her mind, she hadn't told him.

"Is Demeter pregnant?" He asked, eyes focusing on her steadily, as if he was trying keep calm.

She stopped walking and shuffled awkwardly, "S-sorry, I completely forgot to tell you. Yeah, they came out about it all five days ago."

"Who's they?"

Etcetera blinked at him, "...Her and Munk".

Macavity swallowed, and niftly averted the younger teenager's gaze. For a moment she thought she saw a look of hurt wash over his face followed by anger, of which just dissolved into shocked numbness. "Oh-" He coughed distantly, "Alright. Fine. I just didn't think anything like that'd happen so soon..." He trailed off.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah" He replied unconvincingly; he was trying to be less bothered than he felt- Macavity was infuriated. "Let's just hope she doesn't betray him like she did me." Abruptly, he stepped back in to walking, and although Etcetera could she he was distracted she tried to put her paw in his again.

"Mac-"

"Etcy, as soon as we reach the fields I want to do something with you." His words were fast, as if inspiration had hit him suddenly.

She frowned, "Want to do what?"

"...I want to make sure I can protect you." Macavity told her, unnatural brown eyes fixing on the path beneath his paws, "So if anything happens, anything so terrible. Like if they found out that we were together, or if they began accusing you of things that aren't true and you want to get away. I want you to be able to contact me, so I can come and take you at any time, so I can find you and make sure you're safe and loved."

Etcetera cocked her head slightly to one side, "...Why would you do that for me?"

"I do it for everyone I'm close to." He replied, a small smile retracing back on to his face.

After a couple of minutes, they reached an empty clearing and they both sat in the greenery opposite each other. Eyes wide in interest and longing, Macavity reached out and rested both of his paws across her temples, "Relax" he told her, feeling how tense she was.

Etcetera nodded numbly and let out a deep breath, and that was when the weirdest sensation of heat billowed through her body all at once. It was like ecstasy but not comfortable and for a moment she swore she felt all her organs within her. But it left as soon as it had come, and she opened her eyes.

"You may feel a bit light-headed" Macavity warned gently, brushing her ear, "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes..."

Macavity smiled, "You'll be just fine... That'll never leave you now. If you ever want me really badly, just focus your head and call for me and I'll here. I'll come to you as quick as I can"

Etcetera nodded, still feeling a bit confused by it all and smiled, "I really should be heading back home. The ball is tonight."

"Oh of course" He stood up and offered an arm to her which she took, "You certainly can't miss that."

"I wish you were there." She sighed, "I mean... I've got to go through all the mating dance routine alone; and that's a celebration of romance on it's every level."

Macavity smirked, "Well maybe at some point we can do a small dance of our own- We don't need other cats dancing with us to make it special." He closed the distance between them, and she tilted her head up and his lowered, "But if someone does try to do the routine with you when you're with me..." His lips met hers for the slightest second, "I'll kill 'em." Grinning, he kissed her again, more fervent that time.

Etcetera smiled like an idiot and together they walked back paw in paw again, but something tugged at the back of her thoughts. How serious had he been with that statement? She dismissed it, but she didn't forget about it- There had been a hint of severity in his words.

* * *

**The Junkyard**

The cream teenager sighed, going back into her nest, already hearing talking. Entering the main room she saw Munkustrap and Skimble, they both turned and gave her light smiled to which she returned before heading in to her bedroom, she sat down and pulled out her neatest collar from under her bed securing it around her neck. Neatly, she then reached downwards and bought out her diary, retrieved her pencil nub and set out writing.

_"I wish I could be dancing with Macavity tonight..."_

"Myself and Jemima had yet another argument this morning," Complained Munkustrap, "She just won't let it go, and I don't know what to say to her."

Skimble rolled his shoulders, "But she's happy for you and Dem, isn't she?"

"Oh yes she's thrilled like we all are," He sat down, "But she can't let go of the fact that this will have 'happened' at night with her in the next room-" He paused, "I'm sorry Skimble I really shouldn't be talking about the matter of your daughter, um, in this fashion"

The railway cat let out a small laugh, "Don't fret lad. As long as you don't go into details I shan't go all 'paranoid parent' on you."

"... It's not like we're weirdly open about it or anything. Jemima keeps on saying I should have known better, and that she doesn't want to be exposed to anything of the sort. But we had told her that we were trying for kittens a couple of months back, she's being although I hate to say it stubborn."

"You know why though-"

"Of course I do and I've tried to console that, but she refuses to discuss it. She's just so... queer about it all." Munkustrap was stressed, you could note it in the body language, "She's doing so well Skimble coping and all but I do worry about her. I'm just hoping that maybe having new kittens around will be a distraction."

"You can hope," The railway cat agreed, "But personally... I don't think she'll ever be the same again, it's not exactly _normal_ what happened to her, never mind the way her kitten-hood played out."

"I always just think about what would have happened if you hadn't found her, it kills me to imagine such things."

Skimble lamented to himself, before turning to his son-in-law, "Well just be thankful I did, alright? And don't linger on it... You know the more you linger on it the more she will, and we certainly don't want that."

* * *

"Right! This is it... I'm going to do it, I can't wait any longer!" Pouncival grinned like an idiot, pacing his room over and over, "I'm going to tell Etcetera how I feel."

Tumblebrutus, putting on his collar frowned at his brother, "Are you sure? She's dating some other cat, I wouldn't if I were you-"

"Tumble, she's been going out with this tom that wouldn't even be accepted for about five minutes... We've been friends since we've been blind, I think I have the upper hand here."

"Where's the sudden burst of confidence come from, Pounce?"

Pouncival pivoted on his heel and shook his shoulders, "Don't make me lose it, whatever you do."

"She seems to really like this tom she's seeing, are you sure about this?" Tumble drawled a little, and came to stand in front of a mirror, brushing his fur to his definition of 'perfection'.

Pouncival let out a small grunt and laid on his blankets, messing up his already sind blown fur, "Tumble I'm sure. She may not reciprocate it... But at least she'll know, it's been too long. And come on, it's the ball! What better time is there to tell her?"

"Probably sometime when everything that happens won't be exposed to every other cat there-"

"Always the skeptic, brother. I know her, and she'll love this." He grinned, before getting off the blankets, "Now, just something for nerves."

Tumblebrutus frowned and cocked an eye brow, "Why can't you just do it?"

Pouncival paused, finally reaching down and grabbing his own collar, "It's not like I'm just telling a cat I like them. I'm confessing my love for a cat I've been mad about since we were fourteen."

"Look Pounce, do whatever you want... It might be everything you've wanted; but don't expect any thing, alright?" He turned to his brother, "I don't want you to do anything stupid."

Gazing at his brother, the patched tom clicked his collar in to place and smirked, "I'll try not too. Anyway, I'm off to Tugger's, I'll be back soon." Pouncival happily kicked his heels before leaving the room, heading to see the Maine Coon whom had promised him something to help suffice his nerves.

* * *

**The Jellicle Ball:**

Finally, it appeared England had responded to the Jellicle cats' pleas; Etcetera smiled as a warmer wind brushed through her head fur. It always became warmer on the Jellicle ball night, even if they didn't know why. Deuteronomy often mused it was because the world knew and wanted the cats to be exposed to a part of the warmth their ancestors would have thousands of years ago in Egypt. The Jellicle ball was flying by, all jolly dances and religious endorsements. Music that wasn't present literally rang through their ears, and lights that didn't really shine radiated of their fur like mirror reflections.

It was the first time all week Etcetera had felt slightly as if she'd regained some sense of normality in her life. She danced and sang along her friends and family, feeling at one with Bast and the ground beneath her feet. No part of her even fretted over the concept of the mating dance, it would be the same as it had been when she was younger. A few spins and lifts by herself before laying down to rest. She didn't mind that, because deep down she knew Macavity would make it up to her at a later date.

Hm, the mating dance with Macavity- What would that entail?

As the lights dissipated into a deep ocean like blue bathing the Junkyard in romantic silhouettes, everyone continued to move including herself.

Her imagination began to take off with images of her dancing with Macavity. They filled her with a deep sense of sexual enthusiasm she'd never experienced before. Bast, she wondered for a moment if she was falling ill although the feelings didn't feel bad, but deep long and persistent She wished he was with her, even if when it came to the concept of 'mating', she was absolutely clueless. The feelings however conducted her dance.

She danced for him and only him in that moment.

Without meaning to, her movements became more erotic, deliberate and open. She didn't feel a pair of eyes watching her and only her, actually all she could comprehend was her blood pounding through her veins. Eventually, she slipped into a neat split before curling down hoping to rest off all the passion that had gone through her.

A paw settled on her waist, and she felt a warm presence pressed against her back. She rolled over, trying not to disturb the content quiet in the Junkyard. Pouncival was staring at her with wide eyes, "Pounce what are you doing?"

Mouth parting slightly, the teenager swallowed nervously and leant in closer to her. "Etcy-"

His lips crashed against hers.

Etcetera squirmed, it was unfamiliar. Wrong. _No!_ Why was he doing this? With an almighty push, she forced him away. His expression didn't change; and she felt disgusted. Pouncival was her friend... He knew she was with somebody else! "P-Pounce?"

"I've tried to tell you all night but got scared," He whispered _too _closely, "I got some help."

The smell hit her straight away, and she could taste it from his kiss, "Pounce are you drunk? Who the Bast gave you alcohol?"

He hiccupped, "I'm not-"

"You are... I don't want you near me, I'm sorry-" Quickly, Etcetera made a move to step away.

He stopped her, "Don't!" Pouncival's paw twisted and he forced her head around. Her eyes widened in shock. Pounce was never like this! "Don't walk off on me; I've waited _too _long for this," Her head was forced towards his again, "I can't wait any longer" He kissed her again, this time more forcefully, she tried to push him away but he always had been much stronger than he looked.

None of the Jellicles stirred around them.

Fear began to ring through Etcetera's body. How much was he capable of in this state? His paw moved to her shoulder and held it down towards the ground, he began to move over her. He was so quiet and yet so frightening. "You are the most beautiful dancer-"

"Please stop it!"

Finally he stumbled and threw a leg over her hip so he was practically straddling her. "I want you so much!"

If this happened Macavity was going to kill her. He was going to kill Pounce! She didn't want this. They were just friends! She didn't understand this outburst was but she felt so afraid. As if everything in her stomach was a black hole. She began to cry "Pounce please-"

His paw ceased around her neck, and he leant down to her ear, whispering "Don't. Be. So. Loud. I. Don't. Want-"

He howled in pain as Etcetera's knee shot up to his groin. Gasping he sat up and she scrambled away. By accident she kicked Coricopat, the tom stirred with a start and the other's quickly followed.

"Etcetera!" Pouncival cried, loudly.

She shook with anger, betrayal, and fear. She didn't care who heard "You stay away from me!" _Macavity! Please Macavity! _"You know I'm in a relationship you can't just- Why would you do that to me?!"

The patched tom stood up groggily and tried to step to her, he nearly fell.

"Who even are you?!" _Macavity please I need you here NOW! _

"P-please Etcy!" He reached for her.

"No!" She screamed, as she smacked him straight across the face. He riled backwards and fell. Blood began to seep through wounds on his cheek, "You... You bastard!" Sobbing, she scrambled past the rest of her shocked tribemates and out of the Junkyard, arms grasping onto her chest before any one could stop her.

* * *

**The Next Da**y

Outside in the Junkyard, a majority of the cats sat desolate in worry. The night before had all gone downhill after the event that had conspired between Pouncival and Etcetera. She hadn't been found, nor had she came home. No one was exactly sure where she was or who with; they were all panicking and setting up an immediate search party. Pouncival was at home, nursing a nasty hangover. He'd never had much alcohol before and was ashamed at what had happened- Or more so what he remembered had happened. He'd planned it to be romantic and sweet, him confessing his love like Romeo to Juliet, he hated himself for what his actual approach had been. He fretted that Etcetera would never forgive him. The Rum Tum Tugger was at that moment in a raging argument with his father, because he had supplied the younger tom with the beverage in the first place; but Tugger insisted that he'd warned the tom about how much to have and what could happen.

Munkustrap sighed, paws rubbing on his temple as tiredness and stress wore at him. Demeter had fallen asleep next to him, arm draped over her stomach gently. He gazed out at the Junkyard gates, praying that Etcetera would appear at any moment. What he didn't expect, was Griddlebone to show up.

The white persian was a Jellicle, technically. But ever since childhood her and her father had always been in and out of the tribe, always involved in travelling and she never really visited since he had died. Munkustrap hadn't seen her in the best of two years and had no idea what she was doing with her life or who she was with at that time. However when she did show up, she normally wanted something. Several of the cats looked up in confusion as the silver tabby walked up to greet her.

"Griddlebone, what are you doing here?"

The white persian grinned at him, "Hello Munk. Always straight to the point, aren't you?" She stepped closer and brushed her thick tail up his arms.

"I'm mated." He told her flatly, not at all interested.

She rolled her eyes, "So am I, and yet here we are."

"Griddle why are you here?" He asked again, "We're sort of... In a crisis right now."

Griddlebone looked at her claws, before telling him "...Etcetera's fine. She's staying with a young tom of ours, but after last night she says that she doesn't want to come home for a couple of days. She wants to calm down."

Shocked, the protector ran a paw through his head fur, "Where is that?"

"Oh not far away, you needn't worry. She's in fine care with us."

"Who's 'us'? Who is she with?" Questioned Munkustrap.

Griddlebone shrugged, "Just some crew of mine and Growltiger's, although she's well infatuated with one our our youngest, he's just lovely... We're only porting here for a few weeks before they go again however. She's safe, and it's not like I won't keep an eye on her any way, just as Growltiger will as well."

After a small moment of thought, Munkustrap nodded. He could trust Griddlebone, although she only showed up rarely she was very strong in her faith and she had never done wrong by the tribe before, "Could you pass on a message from us?"

She smiled, "Of course!"

"Could you please tell Etcetera that Pouncival is sorry for what happened and wants to apologize, and that we all welcome her home with open arms as soon as she comes home?"

She bowed her head slightly, "She'll know as soon as I return. Anyway, this is all I was asked to say... So I best be off now, I have business to attend to."

Little did they know that the said business included the tom they had all been afraid of for years.

* * *

**The Warehouse:**

"I feel so humiliated," Sobbed Etcetera, unable to eat the rat Macavity had given her, she felt sick, "I just don't understand."

Macavity let out a small sigh and moved his arm to rest on hers, "The boy, don't blame him. Given by what you told me, he was in that sort of state when a chap can easily turn nasty-"

"But that's just it, you see. He's never done anything like this before, a-and it wasn't even like it was him!" A small explosion of cries escaped her. She'd been a wreck all night, only had a few short intervals of sleep before waking up in shock again. Her head throbbed with pain, she just wanted to forget about it all.

After storming out the night before Etcetera had headed out to the edge of Victoria Grove before nearly passing out next to a house. That was when Macavity, having hearing her mental shouts for him found her. He had quickly taken her back to the warehouse where he was staying, trying his every inner whit not to storm back into the Junkyard and kill the silly tom right there and then for almost forcing relations with her. And Etcetera had told him what had happened, Macavity had sworn vengeance on the tom, and wanted him dead.

...But Etcetera would have never forgiven him for that.

Thank fully this action had not caused his mind to snap, although that was something he had worried about as she told him about what had happened because he was so angry. Keeping her away from his work mates had been difficult when he had returned with her, every one was still talking about it, querying who even the queen was. Etcetera had been surprised at the amount of cats living in the warehouse, all of whom the red tom claimed to work with- Even though she still didn't know what work it was; but at least he had his own room. He'd been looking after her since. It was now midday and she was still in the fragile state that she had been the best of ten hours prior.

"Macavity what should I do? I mean, I can't just go back after this... I don't want to be faced with seeing him, and everyone will be talking about me; they have been enough lately anyway!"

Macavity frowned, "What why have they been talking about you?"

Awkwardly, the younger teenager wiped her eyes, "Because everyone is under the belief I'm seeing a 'nonreligious' cat, and no one knows who it is." She threw her paws up in frustration, "If only you weren't exiled we would not be having this problem! It's so unfair! Everyone else is so happy and then there's just me... In love with a tom I shouldn't even be talking to at all." The words came out bitter.

Macavity pulled back a little, "You hate yourself for our relationship don't you?" She didn't reply or meet his gaze, "Etcetera? Don't you?"

With a hasty breath, she maneuvered her shaking arm out of his grip, "...You're old enough to be my father."

"Since when does that affect anything?" He questioned rashly, "I... I thought you wanted this?"

"I do-" She paused, and wrung her paws into her lap, "I mean, I think I do. I have all these feelings that I don't understand, like at the ball when I imagined dancing with you I had never experienced anything of the sort like all my body was suddenly on fire and my breathing so erratic except it didn't feel bad; I feel like I love you, but all these new things I don't understand... I can't bear them, and I don't know what to do about them."

"If what I'm guessing right... Then those feelings, well... They're perfectly normal." He lent a bit closer into the table, "Thing is, Jellicle's will always try to keep themselves from explaining them to their young for as long as possible. Do you- Do you know what it feels like when you're aroused?"

Her eyes widened in shock, and she could only imagine a small, "Excuse me?"

"Well... Do you?"

She frowned in confusion and felt the awkwardness eating away at her. She knew that Macavity being older would know all this. But she certainly didn't. Slowly, she shook her head, muttering, "I've never been exposed to anything of that sort. And I don't plan to be until I'm older."

"You can't plan it," He chuckled softly, "Physically you're more than old enough. You can't stop those feelings from coming once in a while."

"Macavity. One of my best friends tried to have his way with me last night. Sex is one of the last things I want to be discussing." She stood up and began to walk back to the bed, ears lowered.

The red tom let out a small sigh, "If it was me, though."

She absolutely halted in her step, freezing to a point. "What?"

"If it was me would you?"

"Would I myself what?"

"Sleep with me."

Etcetera's jaw dropped, she felt flustered and embarrassed all at once and she didn't know what to say. "Macavity... I-I'm too young."

"But do you want to?" He walked behind her, and stood to wrap his arms securing at her front, he dipped his head so it rested her head fur and unconsciously she arched in to him, "Deep inside... Does your mind wander to images of me driving you crazy with just a touch? Would really love me so much, and yet say no?"

His breath tickled on the teenager's neck and she shivered, a warmth pooling deep in her stomach again. Worried, she eased his paws away, "Mac..."

Macavity let out a small moan of complaint, "Demeter..."

"What?" Gasped Etcetera, turning around so abruptly she nearly knocked him from his place.

He cocked his head to one side, "What is it?"

"You just called me Demeter." She stepped back and her face screwed up, "Why did you call me Demeter?"

_'Because you're just like her' _"Oh Bast! Cor, slip of the tongue that's all!"

"No it wasn't... You were feeling me up and suddenly you call me 'Demeter'?" Etcetera wrapped her arms around her body, "I thought you were long over her. Why would you say this in front of me? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No of course not!" Retorted the older tom, "Don't be so ridiculous-"

Etcetera thought for a moment, before her eyes blanked over and grew darker, "Everyone always say how much we look alike. Have you noticed that, Macavity? Is this what this is? Because you hurt my older sister and I'm sure as _bast _not going to be some replacement!"

"Etcetera, she's just been on my mind a lot recently. I can't help it if I got a name wrong!" Exclaimed Macavity in defense before sagging his shoulders, "Chuffing nora, Etcetera!"

She blinked at him, "Why on earth has she been on your mind?"

"Sit." Macavity commanded, and she felt worried for a split second so did exactly as he said. The red tom, obviously annoyed quickly reached under the blankets and pulled out a small brown book. He then sat next to her and opened it so she could see.

"Macavity what is this?"

"This is the book I have to write in every single day any little thing that angers me. It's to help my recovery because I can acknowledge what can trigger the attacks." His words were fast, and still loud. Frustration coursed though his yellow eyes, "After you told me she was pregnant I haven't been able to get over it. Just before you woke up again a couple of hours ago I was writing about Demeter, see?" He pushed open the pages further until the latest one was shown, "As much as I hate it she's a prominent in my thoughts now. She's my ex-mate and she's clearly moved on. How can that not be on my mind? So don't you _dare _say that you are a replacement. You are everything she wasn't... But I have too much History with her not to act as if I don't care because I do."

Etcetera was left speechless, "...I-I'm sorry."

"Yes well you should be." Bit the scarlet tom, voice like a vice.

Etcetera sunk back slowly and tears pricked at the back of her eyes. How could she have been so negligent?

Macavity swallowed, breathing slow and deliberate as he forced himself to calm down. "Etcetera. I need to go and work now, for at most an hour. I don't want you to leave this room until then, my colleagues will only fuss over you." He struggled to find the right words but didn't let it faze him, not one glimmer of emotion shone in his eyes, "When I come back I need to know whether you can cope with this or not. I love you, and I know you love me back. But if we get found out you can be exiled for life. I don't want you to waste your time with something that's so dangerous if you're not up for it. If loved me enough, you'd take the risk."

Then he left the room.

* * *

**An Hour Later:**

_In that one hour Macavity had gone, he had done quite probably the most reckless thing he had done in a long while, and hated himself for it. He had still been angry after his and Etcetera's brief argument, he couldn't help but let it out on someone. Because now he had to take Etcetera back to the Junkyard and fast, even if he had offered her protection and comfort at the warehouse._

Macavity closed his eyes in discontent as he stumbled back in to the warehouse. He didn't want to do this... Etcetera was going to react badly, and he knew it; he didn't want to hurt her but there was no other way. It wasn't his fault and he prayed she'd respect that. Pain blazed through his skull, and the gash in his thigh was causing a deep crimson to stain his fake fur. He'd messed it up, big time. At least, he noted to himself... At least Etcetera hadn't been with him. Everything would have been so much worse if she had been. He could protect her this way.

Practically falling in to the main hall the red tom caught his breath. Growltiger looked up from his desk, shocked, "Macavity? What are you doing? You're injured"

"No time," Cut in the tom dismissively, "Where's Etcetera?"

"But Macavity-" Growltiger exclaimed, standing up.

Macavity swayed briefly, and took a moment to calm himself, "Some cat recognised me in London and tried to kill me, failing quite lightly... They're going to the police; I need to get Etcetera home before it all kicks off- They can't suspect any notion about us two at all."

The pirate tom's eyes widened in surprise, and he sat down again with a sigh, "Shit."

"I'll be fine, it's just a couple of cuts." Macavity spoke deeply, before pushing himself to walk through further in to the room and down the corridor where his bedroom was whilst turning himself back into his real body. Forcefully opening the door, he was met by the widest pair of green eyes.

The very cat he'd been looking for gazed up at him in wonder and cocked her head, she was sat legs crossed, guitar resting across her lap (_How had she even found that? _Macavity asked himself) with a collection of blank paper, manuscript and tab laid out around her like small rays of sunshine. The coldness in his eyes disappeared within a second and he smiled. She looked so content.

But he could see she had been crying, she had been crying a lot.

"I thought about what you said... and I couldn't think of what exactly to say to you. So I thought if I put it in to a song- It's so much easier to get your feelings out then. Sit with me?"

_'I have to get her out of here' _Macavity told himself regretfully, but sat by her side not acting affected as the pain ripped through his shin.

"Here you go," Etcetera giggled, forcing a page of messily written music into his arms.

Macavity scanned over it and turned his yellow eyes to her, "Why are you giving it to me?"

"Because you're going to sing it with me, silly!" She laughed at the paleness of his face and shrugged, "Hey, you were born Jellicle- And I remember how you sang when I was little, don't tell me you can't. You have perfect pitch, just like myself."

"Etcetera-" He began awkwardly, he had to tell her what was going on.

"Come on Mac, don't be a ninny." She pouted before looking away.

Macavity's jaw hung open, before a drawn breath escaped him. Shame gnawing at his stomach he stretched and placed an arm around her waist pulling himself closer to her side; She nuzzled him gently, as her scent quenched his senses he smiled again, "Alright."

"Yes!" Yelped the younger queen, right I'll tell you when to come in just follow the score okay?" Her youthful features were just teasing him again. He wanted her so badly. Macavity nodded and wet his lips, clearing his throat at the same time. Shuffling, he felt her tail brushing up to his and twisting around it.

Etcetera, feeling his tail wrap around hers as well caused her to gaze at him for a moment and smirk, before turning her attention to the tiny guitar. Her eyes began to focus and she settled her paw to the first chord, before beginning to play. Leaning against the smaller queen's side a little more, and now barely feeling the pain, he cast his eyes to his own music and began to sing... Words that had only taken her the latter of an hour to write.

The words that she knew she'd speak to her parents, family and friends if her and Macavity were found out.

"_I'm taken aback by allegations, I misdirected my life. I've changed, I'm a different cat how love ain't right. But I only wish, you would understand who I love is exactly what Bast has planned," _Macavity let out a small gasp at that- Did she really think this much of him? _"Just try to remember, that I'm still your baby your blood have your eyes have your smile" _Etcetera met eyes with him for a moment then, and her tail linked with his tighter behind them. Macavity's voice was better than she had remembered it, like velvet against smooth wood. "_I'm sorry this hurts you, I'm sorry this numbs you but I'm not ashamed of this fire I've inflamed. I was given this gift to love from heaven's hands, don't abandon my now for loving this cast out tom... All I ask is in time, you'll give me your blessing."_

Etcetera smiled ear to ear at the tom who was staring ahead, intimidated, infatuated or startled she didn't know. In this song she was telling him that she wasn't ashamed of their love, not any more, and that their opinions would not be strong enough to tear them apart. She had never loved another cat so much in her entire life and she didn't feel the need to act like it wasn't that important to her any more. Leaning up, she gently pressed a small kiss to his raised collar-bone, before staring to sing herself.

_"I know deep down you love me, I could use that love now. I know that time heals the hurting, I just hope you come around 'cause I'm finally proud to state who I am, your closed-minded thoughts won't leave me condemned" _She knew she'd be shunned if they were discovered. She could sit for hours and listen to them tell lies or exaggerations about the tom Macavity was; but she knew him better than they ever would. They would never change how she thought, "_I was given this gift to love from heaven's hands and I know this is not the life you had planned, but I ask that in time you'll give me your blessing"_

Together, both the pair continued to sing, continuously captured within the melodies and lyrics, and what exactly they meant to them both.

_"Cause I couldn't stay living inside this lie, every day that I did more and more of me died; I'm just here to remind you that I'm still your baby, your blood, have your eyes, have your smile. I didn't mean to hurt you I'm sorry you're wounded; But I'm not ashamed of this fire I've inflamed I was living this life for somebody else, now this is my chance to live it for myself. All I ask is in time, you give me your blessing... Give your blessing... Your blessing..."_

A moment fleeted past in which none of them said anything, a calm settled and Etcetera gently rested the guitar in front of her. "Etcetera, that's beautiful. You're a very talented girl, you know that?"

"It's easy to write if you know exactly what you're wanting to say." She replied with a small smile.

Macavity smiled at her, before a shooting pain rattled through his temples. He winced.

Etcetera's grin dropped a little and blossomed in to one of worry, "Mac are you okay? What's wrong?"

He shook, determined to rid himself of the pain and took her paws. He had to get her away... Macavity steeled himself, he really didn't want to tell her this. Those pure eyes that stared at him turned him to jelly and he knew he couldn't tell her, not yet, not now, not when such an energy had stirred up between them. "The roof."

"What?" Questioned the teenager.

Macavity grinned suddenly, "The roof, come now. I want to show you something." He pushed himself to his hind legs, ignoring his muscles protesting with every instinct. Etcetera followed and bit her lip. "Follow me, princess."

He led her through a part of the building she'd never seen before, a dusty smell lingered, telling her that it was rarely used. Nerves swelled within her stomach. The roof? Was it safe? Pushing a heavy door, they came to see a white stair case, well, a stair case that had probably _once_ been white- Most of the paint was peeling and dirty by this point. Although she was afraid, she found herself trembling in anticipation too. It was like passing into another world and her cells thrived with the excitement.

As soon as cold air bit the cat's fur, they knew they were becoming exposed to the outdoors. The stair case became slightly lighter, but yet darker in another sense. The moon shone above them as they finally got to the top and they stepped onto the concrete plat forms that created the roof. It was a wide open space with nothing cluttering the building. Looking out, she could see the cascade of lights and colours the City of London shone with, beautiful down to it's last detail. A breath caught in her throat and she rushed across the building like a young ballerina, her eyes lighting up the stars even more, "Oh Mac! It's beautiful up here!"

"I know, isn't it just?" He replied lightly, "It's the perfect place to come unwind, just to gaze out at our glorious home in all it's beauty."

Etcetera pivoted on her heels, spinning a little spiral and cocking her head at him, "You're sounding more patriotic than my mother. Trust me, that's rare."

A wash of memory hit him and he nodded, "As if I could ever forget your mother's 'nimble' rants about the Royal family, my sweet."

She giggled, "What shall we do?"

"Well!" Macavity announced strongly.

"Oh! So you did you have a plan?" She leaned on her hip and bounced her eyebrows playfully.

He gave her a smug look, "Yes actually." He rushed towards her with a smooth grace and rested both of his paws on her waist, "Etcetera. That silly tom ruined your Jellicle ball this year, and I wanted to make it up to you." His paw brushed her nose and she tittered at his humour "I may be older, but I can still dance. I used to be the finest dancer in the tribe you know?"

"Really?" She queried, not entirely convinced, his boasting was far too stereotypical.

He nodded, pushed her a few feet back and cleared some room. She laughed as, just like a mistero he raised his arms and grinned, "Watch me fly, princess."

Then he began to dance, and Etcetera had never felt so surprised. He leapt from his place, span with such an ease she had never encountered it before, his muscles shining in the light illumine-scant and pure. It had never occurred to her that a tom as strong as him would have the grace of an angel. Several times she raced towards him, wanting to dance along side him but each time he'd only brush her fur lightly, toying with her before departing into pirouettes once more. This was a young Jellicle Macavity, one undaunted from the horrors of the world and his disorder. It was this moment that showed Etcetera exactly why she had fallen for him in the first place. He was just a sweetheart! It was only then she accounted for the music playing in her ears... He was a mystic, as he danced he was creating music to move to, and it just made everything so much more powerful. However what she didn't notice was Macavity using this energy to heal his injuries as well, the pain reliving him smoothly.

Once feeling he'd done his piece, he bore himself arms open to her grinning like a small kitten. Etcetera raced into his embrace, before being spun to her surprise... Into the most captivating dance she'd ever been caught in. The yellow teen had never been the best dancer in the tribe; she was terrible compared to cats like Victoria and even Jemima, at least that's how she thought. But no, once she was lifted and spun by Macavity it was different, for the first time she felt graceful... She felt _beautiful. _He worshiped her body as they moved and her heart began to pulse faster, a heat pooling in the bottom of her stomach that she was still trying to get used to feeling. All those other times they had danced she had felt wrong and sinful; but now in her eyes this was playful, innocent, and sweet; nothing was wrong with what she was feeling.

Temptation soon became too strong, and under the light of the moon with the whole of London shining on them Macavity pressed himself up to kiss her. She shook her head, laughed and ran away a few feet. Macavity danced the other way and held his arms out to her before.

She saw him, clear as daylight whisper, "I love you" under the moon and she floated into his arms once more in yet another dazzling lift that she'd never felt comfortable with before. Pulling on her paw, they raced to a stand still, their chests both raised and fell at an immense rate, sweat budding from both their foreheads but that didn't matter.

'_Is this what desire is?' _Etcetera asked herself... However deep down she knew, and she found herself thriving in it.

The intensity between them was still pulling dangerously, and Etcetera for the first time in their relationship felt ready to give herself to him, she trusted him with her body and soul, there was no denying that now. After their fight she had to prove herself to him, had to show him she meant what she said. Macavity's lips parted slightly, and as if it were the first time they had ever done so he leaned in and kissed her. Fire exploded in both of their bodies, the energy wrapped with the love they felt causing the most romantic feeling either of them had ever fell upon before.

Macavity was shocked at the ferocity she kissed him with. It was if he had unhinged a majority of the morals from her strict upbringing all at once, but Macavity wasn't going to complain; want that he knew he shouldn't be feeling with a kitten her age plunged deep throughout all his body and he pulled her close to him, so close she felt his wanting against her. Macavity knew she tensed at that; religious as she was, did she even understand?

The kiss prolonged until their lungs begged for oxygen, and they both parted, startled and dazed.

"I... I want you Macavity" The words had escaped Etcetera's lips before she could stop herself.

The red tom pulled her back a little, his eyes widening, "What?"

"I want you Macavity. I-I give myself to you." She continued with a strength that surprised all her wits. She was still underage, innocent, untainted; the only sin she ever had known was falling for the said tom.

Macavity's mind screamed at him to stop this from happening, they'd both only regret it. This relationship wasn't going to last and they both knew that. But desire had consumed his sanity; he pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering a moment or two, "You know, when we look back thirty years from now this night will be seemingly beautiful"

She blinked at him, breathless, "And in the mean time?"

Macavity kissed her nose, whispering "Why not?"

Etcetera sucked in a breath before wrapping her arm around his head and pulling him in for another kiss. He pushed her away, "Not here, come with me." Tugging on her arm, he began to pull her back in to the building. Her legs shook with fear and expectancy, as she knew what was coming next.

As if after too long a time, they reached Macavity's bed chamber. Etcetera dashed to the bed, pulse ringing in her ears. Macavity shut the door niftly and murmured a small chant so they were completely sound proofed. When he turned around to see her, his eyes hooded with lust.

_Demeter chuckled absently as Munkustrap played with the fur on her stomach surrounding her kitten-bump that was starting to show the slightest bit. She'd never felt happier. Jemima was knelt on the floor next to their heater, a small book in her paws that spoke of the deepest sanctions they had to keep for religion. _

_There was a knock at the door._

Joining Etcetera on the bedspread, he climbed over her on the blankets neatly and pressed his weight against her. He kissed her, this time urgent but tender; a passion that couldn't be thrown wrapped them in their own world, away from the rest of reality... Away from everything that had happened in the past and the chances of what could happen in future.

Etcetera didn't even think about the fact that she was in heat, so becoming pregnant was at a higher possibility than what it would normally be.

Macavity began to kiss downwards, towards her collarbone and Etcetera quivered with pleasure. Quickly, he wound her weak points and kissed her thoroughly at them, knowing he'd be leaving marks underneath her fur. She writhed beneath him, paws roaming his back feeling every nook and cranny to his muscle.

_Munkustrap sighed and pushed himself away from his mate, "It's half twelve, who on earth can this be?"_

_Opening the door, his shoulders dropped, "Father?" _

_Deuteronomy stood before his second born son, his eyes deep in wisdom. He bowed a little, and Munkustrap reciprocated unsure. "Father what is it?"_

_"Munkustrap, Demeter, Jemima" He acknowledged them all with deep care and it was then Jemima picked up on the grievances in his voice: Something was wrong. "I need to speak to you all in here, and please don't panic."_

Macavity's paws began to move up the teenager's body, slowly, enticing her until he reached her breast. He held it at exactly the right pressure and Etcetera squirmed, an audible moan escaping her as new sensations flooded her soul.

"M-Mac..." She palpitated, "I love you."

Her smirked, bringing his forehead against hers as his paw worked its way lower as she trembled in the both hot and cold delight pounding through her veins.

"I love you too, princess." Macavity conceded, his voice low and husky as finally his paw made contact with the one place that in all Etcetera's life no cat had ever gone near. Bliss drowned every single logical thought in her mind at once. She bucked, and let out a cry- A sound that couldn't be recognised as anything but utter pleasure.

_Opening the door to let Old Deuteronomy enter, the protector swallowed, "Panic about what?" Munkustrap came to sit by his mates side and Demeter took his paw._

_"We have knowledge that earlier this evening, Macavity was seen in Oxford Street... In another one of his forms, but a religious leader saw through that and recognised him instantly. He confronted the tom and it soon became quite clear that the tom was certainly Macavity and that Macavity has come back to London. Because of this, there are several things that we need to ask ourselves. Why he's here? Who he's here with? And will be bother us? I think that..."_

_Whatever was said after that Jemima didn't listen to. All the sound drowned away. This couldn't be happening. He was back. He was back in London just like he had done last year. Looking over, she saw the horror in her mother's face... But Demeter had never known the truth. Demeter had never found out that he had come back last year as well. She never knew what he did. _

Macavity bought his paw back up and rested it by the teenager's waist, he kissed her to secure her attention back on to himself, she shuddered and raised her hazy eyes to meet his, they were watering with crystalline tears.

"Princess, are you okay?" Whispered Macavity quickly, positioning himself above her, although his expression softened a little.

She nodded unconvincingly, "O-of course..."

_Memories flashed through Jemima's head. Faster and faster. Too fast. She couldn't- She couldn't force them away! Bile raised in her throat, and she scarpered the nest, nearly knocking Deuteronomy over in the process interrupting whatever he had said. "Jemima!" Munkustrap called, standing up out of instinct. _

_"What was that about?" Demeter asked worriedly, more tears forming in her eyes... She'd been crying silently in fear ever since the news had been delivered._

_The sound of retching from outside the nest reached the ears of all the cats in the room. _

_Munkustrap shuffled awkwardly, "I-I'm sure she's just caught something, one minute." Quickly he left the nest, guilt filling his every cell. At the sight of his 'daughter' vomiting Munkustrap's expression broke. They could blame this on illness but he knew it was because Macavity was back. _

"Etcetera why are you crying?"

The small teenager squirmed, "I'm not!"

Macavity let out a sigh and kissed her lips fully, before asking again, "Tell me... I can't do this if you don't want me to."

Embarrassed, Etcetera shook her head, admitting, "They say it hurts. Well, I mean, when you, um"

Macavity held a small breath finalizing, "You're scared." When she didn't reply, Macavity sighed and kissed her forehead again, "Princess... I won't take you tonight. I can't if you're not ready." He began to ease himself off of her.

"But I am..." Etcetera started, although knowing the words weren't true.

_After emptying her stomach, Jemima was left a shivering wreck. Tears flowed from her eyes like a waterfall and Munkustrap quickly came to hold her in his arms. The small teenager sobbed against him, shaking like a leaf, "Why is he back? Why?"_

Macavity licked Etcetera's collar-bone sending a small shiver down her spine, and thought for a moment, "If we're going to do this we're going to do this right."

"W-what do you mean?" The teenager whispered.

"Oh don't worry," He smirked, "You won't forget tonight. ...But I won't take your innocence, no. You need to understand what these sort of things are like, so mentally you're more ready than you are now."

"I don't understand."

_"Jem, love. Don't worry. He... He probably won't bother us this time around. At least... If he tried to get into contact with you again, you wouldn't be as gullible." Munkustrap soothed the trembling ball of fluff in his arms._

_Jemima buried her head into his chest, "But what if he doesn't need to contact me? What if this time he just shows up and-"_

_"No Jemima. No more of this talk. Yes... My brother is ill and unpredictable. Yes, knowing that he's back in the country at all is a danger. But I won't let him come near you again, even if that means I never let you out of my sight at all I will."_

The red tom traced her waist line gently up to Etcetera's breast and rested his paw there, "Just lie down and relax... Tonight, I may do just about anything and everything but I will not have sex with you."

"Well if you don't do that then what-"

He furrowed his eyebrows at her, "You really don't understand these things do you?"

After a pause, she shook her head negatively. He kissed her lips gently, whispering, "It's about time you learn then. Just lie down, and let me do everything... For now at least." The confusion in her eyes struck him deeply, he let out a small purr as his paw slowly edged closer to the sensitive part of her breast, she shivered underneath of him, "Trust me."

Biting her lip to suppress a moan, all she did was nod... And that was all Macavity needed as confirmation to do what he wanted to.

* * *

**So! Please leave a review, I'd love you hear what you thought!**

**In the next chapter we will deal with a lot of things, and the drama will get more exciting as things become a lot more suspicious. **

**The song was "Blessing" Composed by Scott Alan, sang by Tituss Burgess and Jen Colella. Such a beautiful song and it was just perfect for this! **

**The actual dance was inspired by the "Balcony Scene" from the official ballet of Romeo and Juliet. If you watch the version with A. Ferri, and A. Corella that was where my inspiration came from. The lighting the acting and the structure were all what I wanted- Well, from the point that Romeo starts dancing until they kiss at least. It is an absolutely stunning piece of dance and I seriously recommend you all to watch it! **

**Please leave a review! **

**Emily x**


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